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Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Sunday I donated 80oz of breast milk to a local mom who has an adopted baby due to arrive in 4 weeks! She's gathering up milk donations to use with a supplemental nursing system so she can stimulate her body to lactate! I know 80oz isn't much but it was my whole stash and it really feels great to be able to help! I'm inspired by her dedication to provide the absolute best for her new baby! I am SO happy I decided to breast feed and give the absolute BEST nourishment to my daughter. I'm happy it was easy for me and that I NEVER gave up like so many mother's do. It's a shame formula is pushed so much and so much more "convenient." I will choose breast milk over formula any day. If my supply ever had issues I would 100% get donor milk!
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
I was so excited to start school this semester. I had been playing phone tag with my school for months trying to figure out my schedule and transfer credits and what classes I should take. I finally got fed up, drove the hour to my school to meet with someone, and they were no help whatsoever. So I went online and figured it all out myself, planned my schedule perfectly around the hours I would be able to put Ripley in 1/2 day daycare, I click the "register now" and get an ERROR on everything. I call, and they now tell me, two weeks before school starts, that I need to go back in and take placement tests and get an override on my classes. I WAS JUST IN THERE AND NO ONE TOLD ME THAT!
I have no one to watch Ripley so I can go in for a couple hours and take some tests. I won't have enough time to get all my classes rescheduled and get my books in. Plus, 3 of the 4 classes I had picked out had filled up in this time frame. I was so pissed. So long story short. I have to wait until next semester to start and hope the daycare I chose will still have openings for her or I am essentially screwed.
I broke down and cried from frustration and disappointment at this point. I want so badly to be back in school. It would be so much easier if I didn't have Ripley to worry about. I love her but I need a break from parenting. I need to get out and be around people again. I need to further my education and do what I love and get back to work! I really hope things work out for me next semester. I can't anymore disappointment. I want to help contribute to our finances again. We have been having a little bit of financial issues and that worries me and makes me feel even more worthless because I can't contribute much financially. I have two etsy shops but they don't bring in as much as a real paycheck would.
Hopefully this stress passes and things work out for the best.
Monday, July 20, 2015
I've been home on vacation for two weeks now and I have one week left. I'm sad. I wish I could stay here. I don't want to go back home to the same bullshit boring ass routine of life. Just sitting at home doing nothing, waiting for my husband to get home from work so I can do nothing with him. I love being home where I have family to laugh with. I've laughed more in the last two weeks then did in the 4 months since I've been here last. I'm miserable back in Florida and it's so boring and lonely. I hate being a stay at home mom. I love my daughter but I just need a break and I get that here. Her Grandparents and Auntie are always willing to watch her so I can go see friends and do things. I don't get to do that in Florida. I don't have friends there and my husband is too tired to go out and do things. Date nights only occur every 4 months or longer because babysitters and dates are expensive. I just feel trapped back in Florida. Like Rapunzel trapped in a tower and it makes me depressed. I sometimes wish my husband would leave the Military so we could come back home. But then I remember it's his dream and all he knows. I wouldn't want him to ask me to give up my dreams...even though I already did when we had a surprise baby. I hate that Ripley has to grow up with no family and in turn I get no help. It really makes me not want anymore kids. Ever. There's so much you miss out on when you decide to start a family. It's hard and I don't think I can go through this doing most of it on my own anymore.
*sigh* at least I will have school soon to focus on. That's about all I have going for me that is positive.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
I believe I mentioned earlier that I am going back to school this fall. Well let me just say applying and getting registered at the school I chose is a royal pain in the ass. I never get replies back to my e-mails asking for help. My phone calls rarely get returned. I'm on vacation until the end of the month so I can't go in and get it all figured out yet. I start classes in a month and I still don't know what I need to take. Only a select few of my transfer credits actually transferred and that angers me since that's more money I have to get out in loans to retake crap I've already taken and passed with flying colors. I think when I do get back and get a chance to go talk to someone I will ask why they all didn't transfer and see if they can evaluate that again. Wouldn't hurt right?
I plan on taking all these general classes online so I can still stay home with Ripley and save on childcare. One good thing about the Veterinary Technology Program is it has a set schedule. First semester is Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Second, third, and fourth semesters are Tuesday/Thursday or Monday/Wednesday. I will save a lot on childcare having only two days to worry about. I haven't decided yet if I am going to do just get a Nanny (I have a friend from MN living down here and she does Nanny work and she is our babysitter) or get her in a daycare so she can get around kids and socialized. We are still on the wait list for base childcare and who knows how long it will take to get an opening there. All I know is that I am so stoked to get back to school, get a little break from the baby, and do something for me! I also plan on volunteering in the Vet Clinic at the animal shelter to get even more experience on top of my schooling. This is what I want to do with my life and I regret not doing it earlier. It's going to be hard now that I have a child but I know I can do it and make it work. I have to. For me and for Ripley.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
I have never had to mow a lawn before today.
Sad I know, but I grew up with brothers and a dad who legitimately enjoyed doing it. I guess because it made them feel manly. Well our lawn was beginning to look like a forest, and I have no husband for two months so I had no choice. So I went and bought a gas can, filled it up, poured it into the tank then I stopped and realized I had no clue how to start the damn thing. Thank goodness my husband had his phone on him so he could help me out. So I pulled the mower to the side of the lawn where no one could see me in case there was a struggle which there was. I pushed "the button" three times, held down the handle bar, and tried pulling the string to start it. I pulled. Over and over. Nothing was happening. I contribute that to my exceptionally weak chicken arms. I pushed the button 3 times again and pulled. I must have pulled like 10 times before it FINALLY turned on. I was off. I finished I would say 3/4 of the yard before it died on me right in the middle of finishing. I tried pulling again. No luck. It wouldn't have been so bad but I just happened to be at the part of the yard right in front of the construction workers working on the new build across the street. No lie, they ALL stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I felt so stupid and embarrassed and they made me feel VERY uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure they were giggling and making fun of me. They didn't speak English though so I don't know. At that point I pushed it into the backyard where they couldn't see me and took a break for a drink (90 weather in the sun with yoga pants and black shirt is not ideal mowing weather. I thought I was going to die). Then I went back out to try and figure out what was wrong. Apparently I had already run out of gas because I didn't fill it all the way so I filled it, pulled the string and it actually started on the first try! I quickly finished and I felt damn accomplished after that.
Yes Mr Construction workers, women CAN mow lawns and not screw it up.
So mind your own business next time!
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Well I did it. I applied for college again here in FL. I'm nervous yet incredibly excited. I know I will be accepted and I will be starting in the fall. I need to do something with my life, not just for myself but for my family. I have my Bachelor's in Psychology that left me with $20,000 in student loans and not a thing to show for it. I can't get a job without a Master's and to be honest my heart and passion just isn't in it anymore. So I applied at a local community college to get my degree in Veterinary Technology which I should have done to begin with. I worked as a Vet Assistant for 5 years through high school and part of college. I LOVED IT. Why I didn't pursue that path right away is beyond me. I don't know what I was thinking. I just completed paperwork to get Ripley into daycare on base. I know there will be a wait list but hopefully the stars align and things work out. I've been doing the whole stay at home mom thing for 6 months and while I love being with my daughter and watching her grow I just can't do this forever. I need to get out of the house. I need to get back to school and do what I am passionate about or I am just going to regret it. By the time I get back to school Ripley will be almost a year and I'm pretty sure I can take a few classes online so she won't need to be in daycare all the time for at least a couple years until I get my degree finished. I want to be independent and I want to make my money to help with the finances. I also want to save lives. I hope to eventually get a job at an animals shelter again. That was the most rewarding work I've ever done.
It's going to be hard. I know that. I have no family, no real support system or help here so it's going to be a challenge. I will probably miss some classes due to a sick kid. I will probably be over stressed at times as I try to balance a marriage, school, and a baby. I accept these challenges and won't let it get in the way of what I know I was put on this planet to do. I will succeed and I will not fail.
I cannot wait to start this new chapter of my life.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
We now have a 5 month old. I am excited for her 6 month appointment to see how much she has grown!
Here are some things Ripley is up to.
She loves to talk. Babble, Happily scream...all the time! I love it it's adorable.
She can stay in the seated position without assistance for about 5 seconds. She will be sitting on her own in no time.
She loves toys that make noise and crinkle. Actually, her favorite thing to play with isn't a toy at all, but a travel pack of kleenex.
She is such a happy baby. Smiling all the time and laughing.
Her sleep schedule is a little wonky lately. She used to sleep all night but these last couple weeks she's been waking up every few hours again. I say growth spurt.
Daddy is gone for 2 months so she has been co sleeping with me. It's just more convenient when she is waking up so often. It's quite annoying to trudge down the hall every few hours and since we breast feed I don't even have to leave the bed at night and that is awesome.
We have friends here in FL with a pool and one in our community. We found out that Ripley loves being in the water! So we go swimming about once a week!
See you next month! That's when she will be starting her Baby Led Weaning and I cannot wait!
Thursday, March 19, 2015
We had a few set backs before the move. Hubby wasn't promoted this last fall when he should have been because a higher up neglected to submit some important paperwork. So there was a chance we weren't going to be able to PCS at all. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but we had already bought a house so it would have been a huge mess if we weren't able to move and live in it.
Buying a house is a big deal and pretty terrifying. We bought our house without even seeing it. We did it all from the other side of the country. All we had was a floor plan and our realtor's word that it was a good buy. It was a little easier because we didn't just buy but we had our house built for us. We got to pick all the options and after being in it now for a week I can say we made a great decision and I absolutely love our house! I'll post more on it and pictures when we get it all set up.
So far I like Florida. It's nice and warm but so muggy. I wish I could have brought the Ca weather with me. No humidity at all there.
After we left California we took a impromptu trip back home to Minnesota to see family for two weeks. I'm so glad we took that trip. Everyone got to meet Ripley and I got some much needed family time. Plus we had babysitters so we got to go out for our two year wedding anniversary which we wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. I was also glad we went home because our house wasn't done at that point and we would have been sitting in a hotel for a week or so bored and wasting money. It all worked out really well and I'm glad we are starting to settle in.
It's a little boring around here right now. We watch a lot of movies and play videogames and that's about it. We have no tv or Internet for a month because this is a new area and there are no hook ups installed yet. I have an etsy business that requires the Internet so I can't wait for it to be back up and running!
We have also done some exploring. We went to the beach and the Manatee viewing area which is just down the road from our house. I can't wait to go see more things!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Where has the time gone?
Ripley is now 4 months old.
She has finally mastered rolling from her back to her tummy. She hates tummy time so she has yet to roll from tummy to back.
She still puts everything and anything into her mouth. I think teething is coming soon because she drools like crazy and again chews on everything.
She is still her happy smiley self though!
She sleeps from 8pm to 5:30am on average. She's always been an awesome sleeper.
She is still wearing 0-3 month clothes because she's a tiny girl, but still growing fast!
She is still breastfeeding like a champ, there have been no issues at all there.
She recently made it through a four day road trip from CA to MN and she did awesome! She only got crabby around hour 10 of driving but by then it was time for us to stop for the night anyway.
She "talks" and makes noises all the time (I can't wait to see what her first word will be when the time comes!)
She loves to lay on her play mat and grab the toys that hang down.
She also has a orange Oball Rattle that she plays with all the time!
Despite the cold, she is loving all the attention she is getting from our families here in MN.
She's being spoiled rotten and that's ok. =]
Friday, February 13, 2015
My poor puppy Penny had a little mishap with her anal glands a few nights ago. First, we noticed she was licking at her rear end a little more than usual. We looked back there and nothing was out of the ordinary so we didn't really think anything of it. The next day she was still licking so we looked and now there was a hard bump that wasn't there the night before. At first I thought it was some sort of bug bite. She spends a lot of time outside sunbathing in the backyard and we have a lot of spiders here so that crossed my mind. Throughout the course of the day the lump got bigger and it turned black so I called the vet and made an appointment for her the following day. Since she was licking at it non stop, we went to Petsmart and got her a cone (pink of course) so her licking wouldn't make it worse until she could see the vet in the morning. Late that night before bed I checked her again and now there was no bump just a hole draining fluid. That's when I knew she didn't have a bug bite but instead it was an abscessed anal gland and it had just popped. I worked at a vet clinic for 4.5 years so as soon as I saw that little hole it hit me that it was an anal gland rupture.
We brought her to the vet early morning, it was in fact what I thought it was. The doctor sedated her, flushed out the gland, put antibiotic ointment inside, and cleaned out the other one which he told me was only a few short days away from bursting as well. $275 later my pup is home, happy, no longer licking at her bottom, and on the road to recovery. She was sent home on antibiotics and has to be rechecked next week.
She has never had issues with her anal glands before. She is going on 5 and we've never had to have them expressed. They've always done it on their own. She also didn't show any signs that they were bothering her, no butt scooting, and no licking until they were already super full and infected. I guess we will just have to have them checked periodically from now on!
I am so glad she is ok but this isn't the best time for this to happen. First, we are moving to Florida in a week and she needs to be rechecked one more time after this coming week. So we will have to find a vet right away and get her seen when we get there. Next, we are moving so money is very tight. I had to use the emergency credit card to cover her bill because all our money is tied up in this upcoming move. Lastly, my dog's aren't allowed to get sick or hurt because it just makes me too sad.
I wish that last part were true.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
If you've been reading my blog at all or follow me on Instagram you would know I have three dogs and they are my world. They are my furry children and I would seriously do ANYTHING for those adorable fur balls. You would also know that not only do I adore my dogs but I LOVE ALL DOGS. I worked at an animal shelter, I still volunteer at one every week. I became a dog trainer, and I plan on going to vet tech school in the fall. I just freaking love dogs.
Last night while on our way to Petsmart we hit a Husky with our SUV that had got away from it's owners and was running freely about on a VERY busy road not far from our house.
We had just taken a turn from a stop light and were going down a rather steep hill. It was dark. Very dark and the dog appeared out of no where. It was running across the road and there was NO WAY we could have stopped in time or swerved out of the way. Growing up in MN I've hit two deer at once, a pheasant, and a raccoon. I CRIED like a baby after hitting those animals.
I vividly remember what happened last night. My husband was driving, we were talking about our upcoming move to Florida, I look in front and all of a sudden see this beautiful black and white Husky, blue eyes, and panting tongue look up at us then less than a second later bang we hit him and run him over. My husband pulled over immediately. I start balling my eyes out. We are both in shock. I ask him to go back and see it if has a collar so we can call the owners. I couldn't do it. There was no way I could go back there and touch a dog we just killed. He gets out to go look and the owners come running up. Turns out they were chasing the dog the whole time trying to catch it and they saw the whole thing! I got out of the car and looked back. My husband apologized over and over again and they assured us it wasn't our fault because he had literally just bolted into the road. Another woman pulled over and before we could offer to bring the dog to the vet, she did. The owner picked up the dog and while he was still alive, he was completely limp and not moving. Just barely breathing and blinking. They loaded him up fast and took him to the emergency vet.
We didn't have time to get any info to see how he was or if there was nothing else we could do.
I am completely heartbroken. We most likely killed this poor dog and I seriously think it's going to haunt me forever. I cannot imagine seeing my dog getting hit by a car like that. My heart aches for them and I hope by some miracle that he pulls through it. My husband feels so guilty and so do I. If only we left the house a few minutes before or after. So many if onlys.
I just feel terrible. Even if there was nothing we could have done. =[
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Yay! Ripley is now 3 months old. Actually, that isn't really a yay. Deep inside I want to cry because she is growing up waaay too fast!!! Can't she stay young forever?
This past month she;s started cooing and making a lot more noises. We were tickling her one night and she laughed! Hasn't done it since but she did do it! She loves putting her hands in her mouth and slobbering all over them.
She's begun to grab onto anything and everything with her hands such as, her shirt, her toys, my hands, and of course it goes right to her mouth. We lay her on her playmat and she plays with the toys.
|Grabbing her Foxy|
She has also found her feet. She loves to hold onto her toes and kick things.
|Grabbing her feet|
She isn't holding her head up 100% of the time yet but she's definitely getting stronger in that department.
I caught her half roll over from her back once so she's working on that too!
We take her on quite a few outings like shopping trips and to our weekly dog park trip and she does so well.
|At the dog park|
She loves to look around and I think she gets relaxed by stroller rides!
I can't wait to see what the next month brings!
Here is my favorite monthly picture blooper. As you can see, she was trying to eat her tutu. =]