I figured since I haven't blogged in awhile I would do a little update on the baby and how things are going.
I have had no issues with this pregnancy. My symptoms include minor headaches in the beginning, recent mild acid reflux, and some minor back pain. I consider myself VERY lucky that I haven't been miserable! I still work as much as I did outside in the 90 degree heat, I exercise (not as much as a should) and I sleep well too. Most days I feel great. My belly has recently blown up (seems like it happened overnight), and I am just now being asked by everyone when I'm due. I'd say that's not bad for being 31 weeks tomorrow. I'm not huge but I'm still very self conscious about it. I know pregnancy is a beautiful thing and when I see other pregnant women I always think "Oh her belly is so cute!" but I feel like mine isn't. I just feel like a whale. So far I've only gained 15 pounds which I'm told is in the normal range. I just wish I had that glow and that confidence in showing off that I have a human growing inside me. I'm still wanting to hide it and avoid talking about it and I wish I knew why. This pregnancy wasn't planned and I still feel a bit bummed I guess? Of course I love my daughter but I just don't feel ready and I'm so freaked out. Is this normal for first time mothers? I'm afraid to give birth. I'm afraid to have another life in my hands. I'm afraid of screwing her up and doing a bad job raising her. I'm afraid my relationship with my Husband is going to go down the shitter. I'm afraid having her will cause me to give up all my dreams and goals. I wish we would have waited but we can't go back now so I'm going to try and find the strength to get through this and see the positive.
A week or so ago we did a hospital tour and I am very happy about where we chose to have her! It's a beautiful place but what I love most is their openness to any birth plan. I am going to try and have her as naturally as possible. They supply exercise balls, bars, allow you to walk around, shower, etc during labor so you can have your baby how you want to. They also respect mothers who decline pain medication, pitocin, and other evasive procedures. I also wanted the Dr to wait to clip the cord until it stopped pulsating and they will let me do that no problem too! I also love that immediately after you give birth the baby goes right to your chest for ONE WHOLE HOUR. They DO NOT take her immediately, bundle her up, poke her, prode her, or anything until that hour is over. They want that magical bonding moment to happen right away and I LOVE THAT! After the hour is up they do any of the minor medical things they need to do then everyone leaves and the baby stays with my husband and I for more bonding. Knowing all this makes me feel a little better about the whole labor and delivery process.
Also, yesterday we went and had a 4D ultrasound done. She of course was being VERY difficult and it took about 20min to even get a glimpse of her face. She was literally burying her head into the wall of my uterus facing my back. She had a comfy pillow and she wasn't about to move! After drinking cold water and walking around she finally moved enough for us to see her. She has Jake's nose and lips! She looks just like him it's crazy! Seeing her in 4D made everything so much more real. I'm having a baby in 2 months!!