Monday, August 25, 2014

Baby Update

I figured since I haven't blogged in awhile I would do a little update on the baby and how things are going.
I have had no issues with this pregnancy. My symptoms include minor headaches in the beginning, recent mild acid reflux, and some minor back pain. I consider myself VERY lucky that I haven't been miserable! I still work as much as I did outside in the 90 degree heat, I exercise (not as much as a should) and I sleep well too. Most days I feel great. My belly has recently blown up (seems like it happened overnight), and I am just now being asked by everyone when I'm due. I'd say that's not bad for being 31 weeks tomorrow. I'm not huge but I'm still very self conscious about it. I know pregnancy is a beautiful thing and when I see other pregnant women I always think "Oh her belly is so cute!" but I feel like mine isn't. I just feel like a whale. So far I've only gained 15 pounds which I'm told is in the normal range. I just wish I had that glow and that confidence in showing off that I have a human growing inside me. I'm still wanting to hide it and avoid talking about it and I wish I knew why. This pregnancy wasn't planned and I still feel a bit bummed I guess? Of course I love my daughter but I just don't feel ready and I'm so freaked out. Is this normal for first time mothers? I'm afraid to give birth. I'm afraid to have another life in my hands. I'm afraid of screwing her up and doing a bad job raising her. I'm afraid my relationship with my Husband is going to go down the shitter. I'm afraid having her will cause me to give up all my dreams and goals. I wish we would have waited but we can't go back now so I'm going to try and find the strength to get through this and see the positive. 
A week or so ago we did a hospital tour and I am very happy about where we chose to have her! It's a beautiful place but what I love most is their openness to any birth plan. I am going to try and have her as naturally as possible. They supply exercise balls, bars, allow you to walk around, shower, etc during labor so you can have your baby how you want to. They also respect mothers who decline pain medication, pitocin, and other evasive procedures. I also wanted the Dr to wait to clip the cord until it stopped pulsating and they will let me do that no problem too! I also love that immediately after you give birth the baby goes right to your chest for ONE WHOLE HOUR. They DO NOT take her immediately, bundle her up, poke her, prode her, or anything until that hour is over. They want that magical bonding moment to happen right away and I LOVE THAT! After the hour is up they do any of the minor medical things they need to do then everyone leaves and the baby stays with my husband and I for more bonding. Knowing all this makes me feel a little better about the whole labor and delivery process. 
Also, yesterday we went and had a 4D ultrasound done. She of course was being VERY difficult and it took about 20min to even get a glimpse of her face. She was literally burying her head into the wall of my uterus facing my back. She had a comfy pillow and she wasn't about to move! After drinking cold water and walking around she finally moved enough for us to see her. She has Jake's nose and lips! She looks just like him it's crazy! Seeing her in 4D made everything so much more real. I'm having a baby in 2 months!!

Monday, August 18, 2014

Los Angeles Trip (Meet and Greet)

Yesterday Husband and I took a drive up to Los Angeles so I could meet my favorite Youtuber of all time Grav3yardgirl. If you have time and want to be entertained go check out her videos. You won't be disappointed. So we lined up in Downtown LA four hours before she was due to be there and we got a fabulous spot in line. Jake read his Kindle while I did some cross stitching to help pass the time. It went pretty quick and it really was amazing to meet her! She is the kindest person you will ever meet and she always encourages people to be themselves! She stands for the same things I do and she really is an inspiration to so many people.  I am pretty sure Jake and I were the oldest people there though besides the parents bringing their preteens. It made me feel really old but I don't care. Old people like me can like YouTube people too!
Waiting in line!
Swamp Family Gator
We were one of the 1st 100 in line so we got a goodie bag
The Swamp Queen, beautiful inside and out.
After we met Bunny, we went to an awesome store called Whimsic Alley. It's a store for nerds mainly focusing on Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and Game of Thrones. It was awesome and we ended up buying some cool stuff.
Don't Blink
Coin purse for my mom the owl junkie

Friday, August 1, 2014

Hubby Graduated! (Life Update)


Jake finally graduated his 89 schooling on Wednesday! I drove up Tuesday, we spent the night in a hotel, went to his little ceremony on Wednesday, then we went home! TOGETHER!! Three months with him gone sucked. Even if he did come home a few weekends. I was basically a lazy waste of life when he was gone. Besides working, interning, and volunteering I would sit and watch A LOT of TV and play A LOT of videogames. As a graduation gift I surprised him with an Xbox ONE which he's been wanting for a long time. He was very excited. 

I love having him home. However, the day he came home he shared some not so good news. He was volunteered by his "boss" to go for more training in Yuma for 3 more months. Which means no trip back to MN in September to have our baby showers with family, he'll miss being best man in his beat friends's wedding, and he would miss the birth of his first child. I of course was bummed and began planning a way for me to move back home for a few months. There is no way I would stay here in CA alone and have this baby. Yesterday when he went back to work they told him they would put him on stand by for it since they already have two other marines going. He was volunteered for it simply because it would be great experience for him since he is fresh out of school. Luckily, they told him he wouldn't he gone in October because of the baby and he has to get stuff ready for us to PCS and we have to fine a house, etc. I was RELIEVED about that but I still really really want to go back home. I'm debating driving back myself. I would fly but we have 3 dogs and I can't leave them in a kennel (separation anxiety, and seizures) and it's going to take a lot for me to trust a "pet sitter." I am hoping that Jake being on "stand by" will end up in him just not going. I hate waiting for them to decide what they are doing. I am a planner and I hate that right now I have no plan. Hopefully everything works out. I know it's the military and crap like this happens all the time but I still don't like it. It's just bad timing is all. 

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