Monday, July 7, 2014

Is he home YET?

Jake is still away at school in 29 Palms. He has 23 more days there and yes I have been counting down the days. I know 3 months isn't that bad and I know someone's going to bring up "My Husband's deployed for x many months blah blah" but you know what? Any amount of time away from my Husband sucks for me. Probably because I am pregnant and hormonal. He left when I was 3 months along. I just started feeling normal again when he left, and he's been gone for the 2nd trimester...so when he gets back my 3rd will be starting and I've been told that's when you start feeling like crap again. It was just all bad timing if you ask me. 
I am going bat shit crazy in this house alone. Sure I have work, internship, and volunteering but it doesn't keep me occupied enough. My doggies definitely help too but I need human contact. When Jake was deployed last year it was bad but not as bad because I had friends and family to do stuff with. Here I have NO ONE. I still don't have a single friend here. Hopefully that will change when we get to Florida. 
I've also been having days where I get VERY depressed. I go to work, come home, and sleep the whole day and night. Sometimes I even forget to eat. During my bad days I definitely take it out on Jake and unintentionally make him feel very guilty for being away at school. In reality, I am so happy he's there bettering himself and his career. I'm as proud as can be for all the hard work he's putting in. Especially after he tells me NUMEROUS people keep flunking out. They just can't hang with the best I guess! =]
I am just so ready to have him home. So I can start cooking real meals, have someone to cuddle, have a warm body in bed with me, and most importantly someone to talk to and go do things with! I've been such a hermit. I've gone to the beach once with the dogs and found out its really hard handling all 3 alone! Hopefully once he's back we can do some things actually worth blogging about. It's hard to write when you do nothing all day. 
On that note I'll end this with a picture of my dog in a Bow Tie. 
After all, Bow Ties Are Cool!
(Whovians understand)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

What do I want to do with my life?

I've been thinking a lot about what the future holds for me. With a baby on the way, I'm terrified I won't be able to do the things I want to do in my life. I don't want a baby to be the reason I give up on my dreams because I know a lot of people haven't let children ruin their plans. I hope I will have the drive to continue working with my passion for animals. 
Since I started working at an animal shelter my passion to help animals and save lives is higher than ever. I've been thinking about looking into Vet Tech school programs after we move to Tampa this winter. I know I will have a lot on my plate with setting up a new home, having a newborn, and taking care of 3 dogs but it's something I really want to do. 
I recently had an interview at the San Diego Humane Society in hopes of being accepted into their Dog Behavior Center volunteer program. I finally heard back yesterday that I was accepted! I was so excited and I get to start in two weeks! I know that this will be a great experience for me, learning even more about dog behavior and training. I wish to work with shelter dogs in the future rehabilitating them. I also want to work as a vet tech to help shelter dogs as well. 
I was doing some research online about some study abroad programs in animal welfare. It would be my DREAM to volunteer abroad with my vet tech skills and volunteer my help to veterinarians to spay and neuter stray dogs in 3rd world countries. I am such an activist for spaying and neutering your pets and I want to make a difference to these dogs who no one else cares about. 
I know my husband will always support me no matter what I decide to do. I really regret not starting my animal career earlier in life. I got my Bachelor's in Psychology because I was good at it and I thought I would make a lot of money. I did it for the wrong reasons. I quickly learned that I wasn't passionate about it. Jake makes enough to support both of us so I no longer need to force myself to do something I don't enjoy. I want to be a Vet Tech. No, I will never make 6 figures but I will make enough to add to the finances and most importantly make a difference. Who knows, if I like it a lot and I'm good at it maybe I'll be a Veterinarian someday. =]
All I know is that I do not want to waste away at home being a stay at home mom. That's just not realistic to me. I've been working since I was 14 years old and I plan to get back to work after I figure out what to do about school. 

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