I feel so out of place in the Military community because we do not have kids yet. I feel pressured and like an outcast as well. Our neighborhood is nothing but families, my Husband's friends have kids or are trying to have kids. While we are just having fun raising our two fur babies and having fun together.
The other night we went out for a going away party for a guy in Jake's unit. They have a little girl and the wife was asking us if we had kids, if we are trying, when we are going to have them, etc. I felt like I was being interrogated. Is it wrong of us to not procreate until we are ready? I know a lot of people will debate me on "being ready" and say that there is never a good time to have a child. I am only 22 years old. I have only been married for 11.5 months (our one year is coming up quick!). We KNOW that were are not ready.
There are many factors that contribute to us waiting to have kids. One is that we genuinely love the freedom we have to go out with friends, go on dates, have fun, and truly enjoy being married and being together. Next, we are facing a PCS this fall and if that happens we don't want to have to handle all that stress with a baby or a very pregnant me. Third, I just started my job not that long ago and I truly love it. Since it is a lot of work physically and I work with a lot of harmful chemicals I would have to quit if I were to become pregnant and I'm not ready to be leave there yet. In addition, I also started taking classes to be a dog trainer and I am not allowed to do my internship if I am pregnant which would mean I would have to wait to finish and I do not want to do that.
Do I want kids someday? Absolutely. Do I sometimes get baby fever and want to try to have one now? Yes I do, but then I stop and remember all the great things about waiting. Sometimes I see families or pregnancy announcements on facebook and I get angry. I think, "How can all these people my age that I went to high school with be so stupid? How could these people be having ANOTHER child when they can barely support the ones they have? How can people bring children into this military lifestyle knowing that one of their parents' could and probably will be absent during their life at some point?" I tend to judge people for having kids and I'm starting to realize that maybe that's just jealousy running through me. Deep down am I mad that I don't have a child yet? Sometimes I do feel jealousy. Sometimes I do feel like I should be doing it because everyone else is. Is that a good enough reason to change my whole life around and put aside my goals? I don't think it is. I am a firm believer in birth control and waiting until you are in a committed relationship and stable financially. People are having kids too young and it makes me sad because many of them put aside or completely give up their goals in life. I want to see people succeed and be everything they want to be and I hate when having a family too young messes that up for them.
All in all, I can't wait to start a family someday when my dreams have come true and we are stable, content, and well prepared to take provide for and nurture another human being. For now, we are going to enjoy date nights, having extra spending money, taking care of our fur babies, working, and spending time with friends.