Monday, September 23, 2013

Military Family Planning

My Husband and I have no children. We have only been married for six months and we take precautions to make sure I do not get pregnant. It's not that we don't want to be parents because it is something we both want REALLY bad, we just don't think it's the right time. We want to enjoy being together. We love having the extra time and money to go on dates, travel if needed, and the full nights of sleep are glorious too! Starting a family is something we talk about often. Next spring my Husband is heading off to school for three months and we briefly discussed trying when he gets back. We are also being relocated after his schooling is done so we have to plan around that too. 

I'll be honest, seeing all the blogs I follow announce they are pregnant, and seeing a new pregnancy with all my acquaintances from High School pop up on my Facebook feed does get to me sometimes. My Husband and I are married, financially stable, want kids, yet we are waiting. It makes me think that we could do it and make it work at this stage. Why does everyone else get to have a baby but  not us? I guess I just get bouts of baby fever every once and awhile when I see that stuff. I know my Husband is going to be a great father and I can't want to give him the blessing of being one. However, we do have kids right now of the four legged kind and we love them just as much. My Husband might not admit that they are like children but I think he's in denial. He would do anything for those dogs and he takes good care of them making sure they are happy and healthy. Isn't that what parenthood is about?

Being childless in a Military community is really hard. Almost everyone in our neighborhood has a child, or multiple ones. I find it hard to fit in with couples who already have children. I feel like they are at a different stage of their life than me. I suddenly feel that because my friends are having children we no longer have much in common. 
If my Husband were to be deployed while it was time for me to give birth I would go back home where I would have a support system and help. I of course would do anything possible to plan it around a deployment but I know sometimes that's not possible. 
All in all, starting a family is something that my Husband and I would love to do. When the time is right I will stop my birth control and we will start trying but for right now we are enjoying life together as a couple and building wonderful memories together!

Link up hosted by Eights on the Move

13 comments:

  1. awe thanks for sharing your story dear. you guys are smart, and it will happen when it's suppose to.
    -whit

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can never plan exactly for these things either! My husband and I got pregnant BOTH times when we were taking precautions to not get pregnant. Life just kinda works though. :-) It'll happen when it happens, but until then, just enjoy your time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. There seems to be a lot of pressure on military couples to have children right away but I think you two are smart for giving yourselves time as a couple. My hubby and I decided to wait until our schedule is more stable to have kiddos and we have really loved just enjoying each other. Take it slow and enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think this is so smart. Time before kids is so precious. Not everyone gets to experience it too. Try to enjoy it while you can. I can imagine being childless in a Military community can be challenging but there are others just like you waiting to start their families.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree, being childless in a military community is definitely "different". Cute furbabies!

    ReplyDelete
  6. My husband and I have the same feelings. We want to wait to have children, and we are finding it really difficult to find other childless couples to be friends with. You are right; once my friends have had children, my relationship with them has been different.

    Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with you! My husband and I want to spend years married, just us, enjoying our company, before we bring little miracles to this world. I'm 27 and my husband is 28...we're still young! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think you guys are being really smart and waiting until you are both ready.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree. When we lived in a civilian area, a lot more people had waited to had kids than our friends in the military community. I still feel like having children makes it hard too. You have to take care of this little one and find friends with schedules or parenting styles similar to yours. I'm always waiting for when it will get easier! :) I love having friends with kids and I love having friends without kids. I'm much more interested in having friends that I connect with than just searching for friends that fill that "fit the bill," like needing friends with kids the same age as mine or needing friends that also have 3 kids or friends that also have twins... You know what I mean? It is so much better to have the right friends that feel like family! :) Best of luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Miranda, thanks so much for linking up this week :) We are definitely in the same boat for now. Taking preventative measures for now. And I totally understand how you feel - I think I've seen a handful of pregnancy announcement on social media just this week!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I remember the feeling of being the ONLY PERSON ON THE BASE without kids. Okay, not the only one. But it felt that way at the time! All of my friends, no matter how young, had them. It's almost like a right of passage in the military. You have to have kids very young! We decided not to be pressured into it, and we had been married two years before WE felt that we were ready. Unfortunately once I found out that I was pregnant, we also found out that he was deploying halfway through my pregnancy. He didn't meet our sweet girl until she was 3 1/2 months old. It was hard, but like you said, I went home and had an excellent support system. It all works out, even if things don't go as planned. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. We're in the same boat. It also can be hard to make new friends. Mac and I are getting a bit too old for the just out of college crowd, but we're not in the parent crowd. There aren't many of those in the military!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I agree, it is hard being around other military families that have children. I find it very hard to relate as well, especially since Shaun and I are in our early 30s and we are definitely in the minority! At our age, most people have children that middle school-aged!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...