Tuesday, March 12, 2013

After Marriage

For all those who are not yet married, let this be a warning. All the stress is NOT over after the wedding is done. There is so much you have to do afterward, especially if you are marrying into the military. Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but when you live 1500 miles away from your husband and are dealing with the MN government systems it can be a royal PAIN IN THE BUTT. So let's walk through the lovely steps one has to take after marriage. 
First, start by marching your butt down to a crowded courthouse to renew your license. Now, I don't have any complaints about the St. Cloud Courthouse. They are all wonderful ladies and they do whatever they can to get people in and out as fast as possible and better yet, they know what they are doing! I got my license renewed no problem. 
Next, if you don't already have one get yourself a birth certificate. Not only will your military husband need it to add you to "the system" but the Social Security office also requires it to prove you are a U.S. Resident. If the county you live in offers, complete the application online and bring it into the courthouse with you. It will save a lot of time and the employees will love you. Here in MN I was also able to pay for it online so I just handed over my application and they printed it off right then and there for me. 
In addition, You will need your name changed with the Social Security office. This is where I ran into the most problems. The Social Security office in St Cloud, MN is TINY! We waited for over an hour, and was told the previous day people were waiting for several hours for service. Today, they had to call in FOUR extra employees to take care of all the people that were waiting. Also, complete the application online! It saves tons of time! Make sure you have your marriage certificate, Valid ID, and birth certificate! Now, I walked into that office to not only change my name, but to also get a document certifying that I did change it because the military needs proof of this as well! However, I was so graciously told that their computer systems need to "reboot" overnight in order for my name change to be "official" in the system. Therefore, I was not able to get my certificate today. So I thought "Oh that's ok I'll just stop in after work tomorrow and get it" NOT. Because conveniently on Wednesdays the office closes at noon. I get off work at noon. So I called up the office and spent 30 minutes on hold to ask them if I could have my mom pick it up for me. They told me I could and all I had to do was write and sign a letter with all my information and all of hers granting her permission to pick it up for me. So if all goes well tomorrow my mom will be able to mail out all the required documents to my husband so he can take care of things on his end. Normally, it wouldn't be that big of a rush. BUT Jake has to find us a house, set as much up as he can and get everything settled before I get there in May. Who knows how long it will take to find us a house to begin with so the more time he has to figure things out the better. 
Aside from those things you have to change your name on your credit cards, and bank accounts. Jake and I also made a joint account that we will only be using for bills. So I can contribute even though I am still stuck here in MN. It's just easier for me to put money into our account when needed then to send him money directly. Changing your name on these things is pretty easy. Just call up the company or march down to the office with your marriage certificate and 2 forms of ID and they take care of it for you. The only inconvenience we ran into was when we set up our joint account we forgot to bring our marriage certificate and I didn't not have an updated license yet so I had to put down my Maiden name on the account. Then I had to go back in and change it a few days later. Not that big of a deal but they sent me a debit card in my old name and now I have to order a brand new one in my new name. Not hard to do but talk about a waste of resources. I also have to stop into the main office at my work, visit HR, and have my name changed with them. Not a big deal
Next, I had to get my vehicle put in my name. I paid for my vehicle but my parents got me the loan so naturally it was in their name. So we had to go get a new title stating that my vehicle is now loan free and as soon as the title comes in the mail we have to sign it, go back to the courthouse, and have them officially put it in my name. 
You will need to be put on your husbands Car Insurance (if that's the route you decide to take) You end up saving money that way in the long run and it's just easier to balance the bills when everything is combined. In May, we will also be getting joint cell phone plan but it didn't pay to do it right now since I'm on my parents plan and pay next to nothing for it (Cheap T-Mobile).
While all of this stuff is time consuming, I've found the hardest thing to do is remembering to sign my new name! Gosh. I keep on signing my old last name. It's going to take awhile to get used to!
As for all the military stuff, Jake is handling that on his own so for right now. When I get to California I will need to get my Dependent ID, get enrolled in DEERS in the process, figure out Tricare and my Dental Insurance. I will also need to go to base and get a decal for my car so I am allowed to drive on base on my own in my own vehicle. 

35 comments:

  1. I love that you changed to "wife" in the banner! And we just changed our insurance over in January. We'd been married over a year. Whoops.

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    1. Way to procrastinate! I would have probably done the same if my husband wasn't so antsy to get it done! =]

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  2. Right! There is SO much to change!! I had to order a Birth Certificate because the Navy didn't like the one I had - it looked like a copy & they wanted the blueish pinkish one. I didn't really have a issue with Social Security office - I got there as soon as they opened. BUT I'm keeping my TX DL and have to have a copy of the new Social (which said to take 10 days to get here) then mail off everything to wait 45 fippin days for a new DL.. BUT my military ID can be used to verify my new name. UGH. There is so much to be changed! Good job listing everything! That birth certificate and marriage license are so crucial in all the changed!
    AND yes signing your NEW NAME is the hardest part.. haha. I have messed that up SO many times! Or when someone asks me my name.. I have to stop and think. haha. B filled everything out at work - military related. All I had to do is show up at the ID place.. the enrolled me in DEERS and got my ID all in about 20 minutes. Then again I was already in the system b/c of the paperwork B filled out days before.
    Good Luck.. it's almost over. :)
    <3, Amy

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    1. I thought that I would have issues with the birth certificate I originally had because it was from 1993 and sooo outdated, so to cover my butt I went and got a new one. Luckily, no issues! I still haven't mastered my new signature and I tell people my maiden name all the time. Also, I hate how long it takes to get a new DL. When I go to the bar I have to pull out my little yellow sheet of paper and everyone looks at me like "Ohh you're newly 21." I feel like they are judging me. haha. So I have to tell everyone "No, it's just a name change!"

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  3. We moved to Guam two weeks after we got married, and getting everything done so quickly was a PAIN IN THE BUTT! I got my military dependent ID while we were on our honeymoon (we honeymooned two hours away from a base and drove there to get it done). I did my drivers license and SS card after we got back to TX. We had our marriage certificate with us when we flew, so it wasn't a big deal that the name on my new military dependent ID didn't match the name on my passport. Biggest news to me was that I couldn't just change the name on my passport. I had to pay for a whole new one. The old one didn't even have any stamps on it! And getting a passport out to Guam takes extra time. And in the interim of getting the new passport, they take the old one with your maiden name away! My passport came in 16 hours before I was supposed to leave on a flight to Japan to go meet my new husband on a port visit. Talk about cutting it close!

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    1. Oh my gosh! That would be so stressful! I'm go glad you managed to pull it off and get everything done!

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  4. I nominated you for the liebster award! Check it out http://airforcewifelifelove.blogspot.com/2013/03/liebster-award.html

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  5. I am remarried now and can really relate to the bureaucracy involved with the name change. Even my past colleges needed to be notified because I'm looking to further my education. I was dreading the social security office wait, but this time around it wasn't so bad. Congratulations on becoming married--that makes all the paperwork in the world worthwhile!

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    1. Oh yeah. It is all worth it in the end! It's so much easier for the man! They don't have to do much of anything! Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. wow.. love the way you put together the list to take care of post-marriage.. I am sure it must have been a lot of work for you but worth doing.. Hopping by from SITS. Have a lovely day :)

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    1. Worth ever second of waiting in line for sure! Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. I almost forgot all the after marriage hoopla...it's been almost 10 years. But unfortunately the military red tape has only just begun. That is almost never ending...well written post...

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    1. Oh yeah. This process was only the beginning! Now I'm starting to have issued with the darn military insurance company. Can it ever be easy? Thanks for stopping by!

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  8. Don't you just love hastle of updating your info with credit cards and such? I got so tired of providing my marriage certicate to credit card companies, airline skymiles and the like that I just gave it. Some of my info still has my maiden name on it. Oh. Well. Happy SITS Day SITStah!

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    1. It is a lot of work! And some things I missed and am still changing three months later! Thanks for stopping by!

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  9. I too almost forgot about all the things you have to do after you got married!! And being away from your husband adds a whole other dimension. Phew, thank goodness I didn't change my name :-) Happy SITS Day!

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    1. I was thinking I should have kept my maiden name while doing through all this stuff! But the husband is more traditional and convinced me! Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Wow I honestly forgot all of the things I had to do after getting married and I didn't marry into the marines.
    I did just lose my wallet recently so I had to go through some of that again but not all of it!
    congrats on being Marine Wife!
    Keia @ Improving Me

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    1. I just got my license stolen a week ago while visiting home and had to get it renewed. Luckily that was a very quick and easy process! Thanks for stopping by!

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  11. Fortunately most of what you described is a one-time event (name change, etc.) Nice post.

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    1. Yes. Grateful for that! Thanks for stopping by!

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  12. Today with identity theft and fraud it is much harder to change your name especially on credit cards than it used to be. When I got married 15 years ago, all I had to do was cross off my maiden name, write it my new name, sign the form and I was done. One of my cards I didn't get around to changing right away and every time since there was so much bureaucracy involved I left it the way it was. Now I just have to remember to sign my maiden name when I use it.

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    1. In that case, I'm glad they make it more of a hassle. I would rather deal with all that stuff than have my identity stolen! Thanks for stopping by!

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  13. I have been married for 16 years. I forgot all the things we had to do. I am sure you have much more being in the military.

    Happy SITS Day!
    Melanie@getahoot.com

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    1. Yeah there is a lot more to deal with marrying into the military, but worth every second! Thanks for stopping by!

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  14. Yeah, it definitely is a process and they make it a huge ordeal to get everything changed especially if you're hubbie in the military. {my dad was, so I know how that goes} I hope you have a great weekend and happy SITS day.

    Krista @ joyfulhealthyeats

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  15. It has been a long time but I definitely remember all of that stuff - and I married a military pilot so I get that side, too! But, it gets easier as I'm sure you have found by now!

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    1. Once everything is done it feels like a weight is off your shoulders. I think I'm pretty set now...at least I hope I'm not missing anything else. But you never know with the military! Thanks for stopping by!

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  16. I know what you mean- the stress definitely continues! I'm not a military wife, but my husband is a UK citizen, so there was just a lot of extra stuff in terms of paperwork, etc, on top of the changing my name stuff. Oy. Luckily, it's been almost two years and it's safe to say he was worth it :)

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    1. Oh yeah agreed! My husband is worth all the work too! Thanks for stopping by!

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  17. Beautiful post about how you worked through all these frustrations! xoxox

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  18. Girl, that seeems like a lot of work!!! Stopping by from SITS!

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