Thursday, January 10, 2013

Wedding Plans

My wedding is in 50 days! 
I'm nervous and excited at the same time and it all seems so surreal to me. I'm trying to cram everything into a short amount of time. Yesterday I went out and got my dress, sash, shoes, accessories, champagne flutes, cake serving utensils, and water beads to go inside the champagne flute stand. 

I'm also working on the invites, but I need to work out a few more details before I can order them. I think I have decided on a cake idea as well. My inspiration is below. I want it purple with that design but with teal ribbon and no flowers. 

Planning all of this without Jake really sucks. I went to register at Target last night and it sucked not having him there to help and offer input. I like to do things as a team since this is about both of us not just me. I'm stressing out about it. Money is also becoming an issue. Originally I didn't think we were going to make this wedding so big. I thought we were just going to go down to the courthouse, do our thing, then have a SMALL family dinner. Now I have to buy all this other stuff, such as the cake, nice dress, guest book, invites, flutes, decorations, booze. I am happy that Jake's family is taking care of the dinner but I'm already racking up my credit card again, that I just paid off, and my savings is diminishing. I needed that savings to prepare for when I move. So I'm not bumming off Jake, but I guess I will have to be that wife who lives off a man. Which I didn't want. I hope I find a job fast so I can be independent. I think it would have been better to stick with our original plan: having a low key thing this time then have a big thing later in life, one that we planned together, but that's obviously not going to happen. This isn't what I wanted but I'll go with it because it's what Jake wants. I thought planning a wedding would be fun, but it's the complete opposite. It's stressful, lonely, and frustrating doing it all by myself.  
I'm also upset because I have no support from my family. They all think I am making a big mistake and they won't help me with anything. They won't help me with my decisions or with anything financially. They don't know Jake at all and they don't feel like I know him well enough to marry him. It hurts a lot to not have any support or help from my family. They can't even pretend to be happy for me. I doubt many people from my family will even show up. So this family dinner will be all Jake's family and I am going to be extremely uncomfortable and a wedding shouldn't be like that. 
I am thankful to have my friend Devon and her family. She has been here for me every step of the way and I am blessed to have her in my life. It has really opened my eyes to who my true friends are. Her family is also very supportive which is awesome. 

I just want this all to be over. I want to marry my best friend and call it that. That is all I care about .

2 comments:

  1. I'm not going to offer unsolicited advice because I hate when people do that to me, but I would like to share my story with you since I was in your shoes not all that long ago!

    When we found out my soldier was deploying we had the tradition military gut reaction: get married. We were young, working part time jobs and without any savings. I made spreadsheets, budgets, wedding plans. When we announced to our parents we were getting married I actually made a presentation of my charts showing how we could afford a small wedding now with a bigger wedding later and moving into our place. They were not excited. They had a million arguments for every point I made. It was so not fun.

    It took be about a month to realize this was not what we wanted. We were settling, rushing, for no reason other than deployment. I wasn't going to get my big, happy day. I was getting a cheap trip to the court house, no honeymoon and some very angry parents. It was exactly the opposite of everything I had ever imagined. I hated the small wedding idea. I hated the idea of getting married in a court. In short, I was miserable about the whole thing. That isn't how an engagement should be! It should be fun! I should be excited!

    So we changed our minds. We waited. Almost three years we have waited. I'm going to be completely honest: it sucked! It was not fun!

    But we are now post deployment, i have a full time job and lots of savings. We are living in a great apartment that we turned into our home thanks to that time we took to save. We are three months out from a wedding that is going to be everything I've dreamed since I was a little girl. We are taking a week long honeymoon! I am over the moon. Waiting was absolutely the best decision we ever made. We're getting everything we wanted now.

    I realize everyone's circumstances are different - I'm not saying waiting is what you should do, but I am saying if you're miserable, that's not right. And it's not fair to you. Weddings are a once in a lifetime event - you deserve to have the best - one that you love every minute of. That's all I'm saying!

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  2. That is not true about your family not supporting you. I have helped you as much as you would let me. I was not invited to go pick out a dress with you and that hurt. I have never said anything against this wedding. Your brother also did not want me to help with his wedding so i m just backing off.

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