Staying busy this last semester at college is really hard! I only have three classes, two of which are online, and one only meets a few times throughout the semester. I still have work and I have been picking up as many extra shifts as I can. I also have 6 hours of my internship a week which helps. I still have way more free-time than I am used to and that I really need. Therefore, I have been filling it in with trips to the gym 3-5 days and week and lots and lots of Netflix watching.
I am so obsessed with The Sons of Anarchy. I am on Season 3 and it keeps on getting more and more epic. It's one of those shows that constantly keeps you intrigued and guessing what's going to happen next. A lot of unexpected things happen too which is nice. It's not predictable!My two favorite characters are Jax and Juice. Jax is just a badass but he's trying to get shit done in an organized, well planned fashion, in a way that is best for the safety of the club. He doesn't make any irrational decisions. He is really sweet and he is a big family man which I admire about him. I mostly like Juice because he is super cute and nerdy and kind of like a dumb blonde which is adorable (even though he's not blonde). He doesn't have the badass vibe that all the other members have. He isn't afraid to laugh and be silly. Anyway, that's enough of my Sons of Anarchy tangent. But if you haven't watched it---do it. You won't be disappointed.
My internship is going really good. I've already completed 12 hours out of my required 90. So far I have just been going through training and shadowing other staff. My official title is a Therapeutic Recreation Intern. I help organize activities throughout the day such as bowling, card games, music sessions, and yesterday we had a chili cook-off. The residents helped make chili in the morning, then the staff made another kind and they had a taste testing to see which was better. The one by the staff won, probably because it wasn't packed full of veggies. Along with helping with activities, I also do one on one visits with the residents who don't leave their rooms very much. I will go in and just chat with them, play a game, read to them, or just keep them company. I will start one on one visits alone on Monday. I'm a little nervous because my supervisor has told me she gave me some of the most challenging residents. I accept the challenge but I also want to be successful at it. I get to wear a nifty name tag and dress up nice every day I go in which is kind of fun!!
Today, it has been 180 days since I have seen my love. The time until he gets back keeps on getting smaller and smaller! I can't go into specifics because of OPSEC but he comes home soon! He will be back for a little bit before I actually get to see him in MN but knowing he is going to be in the US and much closer, and in a time zone where we an actually talk, and I can text him again is still much better than him being across the world with little communication!
I am also pretty excited about my Child Psychology class. Not only is it really interesting but I get to raise a virtual child online!
I had a baby boy that I named Blake and I was in labor with him for 10 hours and had a natural birth (the website determines this for me).
We get to choose how we raise this child and there are many factors that play into it. Each decision I make effects how my child will turn out as it grows I get to raise it until it's 18. There are educational videos and tips to parenting along the way which is interesting and helpful for when I one day have kids.
Well that's the jist of my life right now. Not a whole lot going on. Just counting the days until I can see my love and counting the days until I am done with school. There are so many great and wonderful changes happening to me this year and I know it will be a great one!
I'm nervous and excited at the same time and it all seems so surreal to me. I'm trying to cram everything into a short amount of time. Yesterday I went out and got my dress, sash, shoes, accessories, champagne flutes, cake serving utensils, and water beads to go inside the champagne flute stand.
I'm also working on the invites, but I need to work out a few more details before I can order them. I think I have decided on a cake idea as well. My inspiration is below. I want it purple with that design but with teal ribbon and no flowers.
Planning all of this without Jake really sucks. I went to register at Target last night and it sucked not having him there to help and offer input. I like to do things as a team since this is about both of us not just me. I'm stressing out about it. Money is also becoming an issue. Originally I didn't think we were going to make this wedding so big. I thought we were just going to go down to the courthouse, do our thing, then have a SMALL family dinner. Now I have to buy all this other stuff, such as the cake, nice dress, guest book, invites, flutes, decorations, booze. I am happy that Jake's family is taking care of the dinner but I'm already racking up my credit card again, that I just paid off, and my savings is diminishing. I needed that savings to prepare for when I move. So I'm not bumming off Jake, but I guess I will have to be that wife who lives off a man. Which I didn't want. I hope I find a job fast so I can be independent. I think it would have been better to stick with our original plan: having a low key thing this time then have a big thing later in life, one that we planned together, but that's obviously not going to happen. This isn't what I wanted but I'll go with it because it's what Jake wants. I thought planning a wedding would be fun, but it's the complete opposite. It's stressful, lonely, and frustrating doing it all by myself.
I'm also upset because I have no support from my family. They all think I am making a big mistake and they won't help me with anything. They won't help me with my decisions or with anything financially. They don't know Jake at all and they don't feel like I know him well enough to marry him. It hurts a lot to not have any support or help from my family. They can't even pretend to be happy for me. I doubt many people from my family will even show up. So this family dinner will be all Jake's family and I am going to be extremely uncomfortable and a wedding shouldn't be like that.
I am thankful to have my friend Devon and her family. She has been here for me every step of the way and I am blessed to have her in my life. It has really opened my eyes to who my true friends are. Her family is also very supportive which is awesome.
I just want this all to be over. I want to marry my best friend and call it that. That is all I care about .