Sunday, December 30, 2012

Dear Jake: Our 1 Year Anniversary

Seven Years Ago, I met you.
Our friendship began as a simple online thing via Myspace. We chatted, got to know each other, and eventually became fairly close. We tried dating for a week or 2. I remember we went to the beach together once and swam and my little brother was with me. I also remember you calling me one day and asking me to hang out with you at the carnival in town but I was too busy with family. We ended our dating relationship shortly after because we were at different stages of our life and we made better friends than a couple.
Six Years Ago, you left to join the military.
We lost touch and we both moved on with our lives. We had the occasional Facebook comment or message but after awhile most communication between us stopped.

One Year Ago, you reached out to me when I was heartbroken and had just ended a very serious relationship. You were there for me when no one else was because you could relate to what I was going through. We began texting all day every day. We skyped every night until the wee hours of the morning. We played countless games of Words with Friends. I remember you telling me later that you tried reminding yourself you just wanted to be there for me as a friend and you weren't going to try and form a romantic relationship with me. That worked well! We got closer and closer and I decided to take the risk and fly out to see you in San Diego over New Years. My first day there you took me to Coronado beach and as we walked hand in hand you asked me to be your girlfriend officially. I couldn't say no.

Six Months Ago, I flew out to San Diego again and I was so happy to see you. It had been five months since we had been together. We spent your birthday together, and the day after on Coronado beach during the most beautiful sun set you asked me to marry you. You like to tease me and say that I originally said "No," but I do no recall those words coming out of my mouth. I was caught off guard, shocked, nervous, and speechless for a moment. It all happened so quickly, but I loved you. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love someone. I knew you were the one, my other half, my soul mate, and I couldn't risk ever losing you. So I said YES! You tried to put the ring on my finger but it was much to small so instead it was put halfway down my pinky finger.

December 29th, 2012
It sucked not being able to be with you today. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I would have loved to have woken up next to you and been able to surprise you with a nice gift. I would have loved to have cooked us a nice breakfast to enjoy together. I would have loved to have gone out to the beach or gone hiking or had a picnic at the park during the day. A chance for us to have fun together. I would have loved to have gone to a romantic dinner somewhere where we could talk, laugh, and reminisce. I apologize for being sad and down when we skyped today. It was nice to see your face and hear your voice but I just missed you too much to be excited about the day. As soon as we got off Skype I broke down and balled my eyes out for a good 30 minutes. I loved my gift. I will wear it and cherish it every single day. I love open heart necklaces and I love everything that it stands for; "If your heart is open, love will always find its way in." I just want you to come home. I want to be able to hug and kiss you and hold you in my arms. I want to have someone to talk to about all the good, bad, and ugly things in my life. I want to hold your hand and tickle you until you can't breathe. I want to grow closer to you and start a life together. I will never feel whole again or completely happy until you are back in my arms. Thank you for always being there for me, for supporting me, and for believing in me when no one else does.
I love you. 

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