Lately, I have been guilty of the unhealthy thought "I wish I had a relationship like that." Every time I see couples walking hand in hand at the mall, park, or around campus this thought crosses my mind. I spend too much time wishing I had something with Jake that I don't instead of making the most of what I do have with him. I miss him. I miss being around him, talking, holding hands, laughing, just being in his presence, knowing that he is close and within reach. You don't appreciate the little things until they are gone. I am not at all able to call up my man and ask him to come over or have him come with me to run errands or go fishing or swimming, or hug me when I'm having a bad day. I can't hold hands, have tickle fights, or go on dates anymore. I envy the couples I see hanging out together, bonding, and having fun because I will be in a relationship with my love for a year and a half before any of that will be possible. It's hard constantly thinking "I wish I could have a relationship like that", and constantly feeling a void inside your heart where something is noticeably missing every single day you wake up.
I need to stop thinking about what I could have and focus on what I do have. I have an amazingly sweet, romantic, sappy fiance' who lets me know every single day how much I mean to him and how much he loves me. I have a man that would do anything for me no matter what I need and no matter the obstacle. I have a man who is smart, passionate, and hardworking. I have a man that inspires me every single day to be a better person and to pursue my own dreams. He gives me hope that I am strong enough and smart enough to make all my dreams and goals come true. I have a man who loves me unconditionally, despite my flaws and insecurities. I have a man who puts my happiness before his own. I have a man that is an excellent cook and enjoys making me meals. I have a man that can't wait to say "I do" with me standing in front of him. I have a man who wants to sit down with me and help plan our wedding. I have a man who is a total complete nerdy geek, which is the most attractive thing I could ever find in a man.
I have someone who loves me unconditionally even through the distance, lonely nights, and rough times. I know that one day, when we finally get the opportunity to be together, we will be a GREAT couple. One that other people look at and think "I wish I had an epically awesome loving relationship like that." One day we will be the couple many people envy. I've come to realize that love is greater than the material things. Greater than the physical aspects of a relationship. One day I will get my turn. In the meantime be patient be calm and enjoy and appreciate what you do have in your life.