Sheesh have I been busy lately!! School and work have been completely dominating my life! I am so glad I only decided to take 12 credits this semester instead of my usual 16 or 18. I absolutely love my classes but there is a lot of work involved considering they are all at the 300-400 level. Last week I handed in my minor application and my Senior Capstone application and I am hoping they let me do an internship because I am in no way shape or form good at collecting and analyzing data to make a research project. I'm doomed to fail if they make me go that route instead. I have also completed my application to graduate in May (I'M SOOOO EXCITED!!). I have to wait until my minor application goes through to submit it though. I am also appauled that they make you pay $25 just to "apply" to graduate. It's ridiculous if you ask me. I pay an arm and a leg as it is just to take classes here. Oh well though. It needs to be done.
While browsing the Facebook this weekend, as I sat at work wasting away, I stumbled upon a friend's recent honeymoon pictures. Boy did they make me excited to start that chapter of my life. I know I will not have a honeymoon anytime soon and I have no idea where I want to go (just somewhere warm and sunny), but I look forward to spending that week or so away from the demands of every day life. I look forward to spending that time relaxing and growing closer to my husband and experiencing new things in a place I have never been before. I look forward to doing fun romantic things with the one I love with no distractions. I plan on going this week without any technology to get in the way. I want to devote 100% of my love and attention to my husband and the experience. I know that sounds really sappy but it's something that I cherish. I think cell phones and Facebook have the potential to get in the way of enjoying a relationship and can potentially ruin one.
In all honesty, there is nothing I want more at this moment then to be a loving supportive wife. There are days where I doubt myself and question whether or not I have what it takes to be a "good wife." There are people who tell me not to rush it and enjoy the single life (non married) while I can. To enjoy my youth and not try to grow up too fast. I can understand this. I know that this past year has held a lot of BIG changes for me. I got engaged which I didn't think I would be ready for until my mid-twenties. I soon came to realize that it doesn't matter how long you have been in a relationship with someone before an engagement. I've learned that when you love someone time doesn't matter. I never thought I could fall for anyone as quickly as I did but I found THE ONE. When you find THE ONE trust me, you know it and it is the most amazing feeling. I'm constantly getting comments from people that they could never make it in a long distance relationship. That it would be too hard and too emotionally exhausting. I'm not going to lie it is hard and it is emotionally draining. I do experience moments of weakness. Moments where I just want to crawl into a ball, hug my dogs and cry (I have a couple times). But then I think of Jake's handsome face and I think of his giggle when I tickle him (which happens pretty much anytime I touch him, he's that ticklish), and I think of all the sweet romantic things he has said and wrote to me, and I think of all the dreams that I have for my future. He is the only one I see in my future (ok I will admit last night I had a dream I was dating Christian Grey but that's a fictional character. Doesn't count). He makes me want to be a better person. He believes in me like no one else does and encourges me to never give up on my dreams. I couldn't ask for a better person to spend my life with because I have already found the best.